freak out

We're leaving on Monday for Utah. I have orientation on Wednesday. I move to Utah in one month, one week, and four days. I'm starting to freak out.

I feel extremely underprepared. I'm not ready. I'm broke, I have no idea where I'm supposed to get student loans from, and I still don't have any financial aid through the college. I don't have a job set up through work-study or any place in town. I'm afraid that I won't be able to find a way to get income. That means I won't be able to pay my phone bill or my next car insurance payment in January. Shit, I won't even be able to drive my car around if I don't have money for gas. 

A lot of people would probably say "Well Sam, if you weren't traveling halfway across the country to go to a college where the cost for a year is more than a new 2010 Buick Lacrosse, you wouldn't have this problem." Fuck you. I feel like this is something I have to do. I need to get out of Missouri. Money is the only thing I'm concerned about. I don't care that I'm moving somewhere where I have no friends or that my roommates could completely hate me. I don't care. I've lived without friends in Trenton, I think I can do it in Salt Lake City too. 

Blah. I dono. I'm just starting to freaaakkk. I'm going to try to get more hours at work after I get back from SLC next week so I can buy the rest of the things I need for my room and have some money in the bank for whatever else I need when I get there. I think all that's left to buy is a printer, but I don't even know if I need one of those. Surely I can find a printer on campus somewhere when I need one, right? Oh and a backpack. I don't have one of those.

I bought the rest of my bedding tonight and some bathroom stuff - shampoo, conditioner, scope, body wash that smells amaaaazing. My half of the room is going to look so nice.