In my last post I think I mentioned wanting to kill myself, being sad, hating life, whatever. I've always been the kind of person to joke about killing myself (i.e., driving my car into the Salt Lake) because I have a terrible sense of humor and somehow those jokes were able to make me laugh.
I've actually tried killing myself a couple different times. Both were in high school when I couldn't handle the stress of classes and having no friends. Y'know when I'm talking about. Senior year after all of my friends ditched me and I would sit alone in the corner of yearbook class and cry behind my iMac. Neither attempt worked and I know it was because I was too selfish to actually do the job. Even though I hated myself and wanted to die I had thoughts like, "Why should I be the one to die? They're the fucks who are ruining my life. They should be killing themselves." Typical angsty thoughts of a teenager whose favorite band used to be MCR. Anyway. Didn't kill myself.
Fast forward to 2012. I have no idea what I'm doing in school. Honestly, I find it to be a waste of time. I'm drinking a lot. I'm doing drugs. My skin looks like shit. I've gained fifteen pounds. Looking in the mirror becomes unbearable because I literally cannot stand myself. I'm filled with hate. Killing myself is on my mind every day.
If you saw me during the summer I doubt you would've guessed at my mindset. I pretended to be happy. And even when I was sad or not in a good mood, there's no way you could've known that I was trying to think of the best way to die.
Fast forward to the fall. I'm pregnant. I'm heartbroken. I have an STD. Every day on the way to work I consider driving my car into oncoming traffic. The only thing stopping me is the fact that I'm not looking to kill other people.
Last week Emmett, Molly, and I were drinking and talking about life. Rape came up. Terrible thoughts filled my head. As Emmett was leaving the bathroom to go to bed I asked him, "If I'm constantly thinking about killing myself, should I see someone?" and broke into tears. Emmett and I ended up talking for a couple of hours in which time I had an emotional breakdown and cried nonstop. Afterward I texted my mom and told her I probably needed to see a therapist. Her reply: "Why? Are you depressed?" I explained the situation. She got it. "I knew something had to be wrong. Your kids being dicks has never bothered you before."
This probably seems jumbled and dumb and I'm sorry you chose to read it. But I found a bunch of doctors in the SLC area to talk to. I've scheduled appointments. Hopefully I can get my shit together.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Sunday, February 3, 2013
a look back at 2012
I've been meaning to blog for a while now. Unfortunately, everything I've wanted to get off my chest has been extremely personal and I feared your judgment. Now it's a month into 2013 and I keep thinking, "why not?" A lot of people already know anyway, why not put it on the Internet for everyone to read? Brace yourself for a recap of my life in 2012.
I saw a ton of great bands, including but not limited to: Anthony Green, Typhoon (twice!), Wiz Khalifa, The Shins, Bon Iver, Nas, Band of Horses, Austra, Iron & Wine, M. Ward, Common, Aloe Blacc, Circa Survive, The Xx, A$AP Rocky, and Freelance Whales. There were a bunch of awesome movies that came out in 2012 but the only ones I remember off the top of my head are Les Mis (which I watched 3 times in two weeks) and The Necessary Death of Charlie Countryman. Sundance was fun but we never met any famous people. I met Ryan Reynolds but that's unrelated to Sundance. I sold him a humidifier, that's all. 8)
In November, just before Thanksgiving, I started working at a company called Brookstone. If you're unfamiliar, it's a place that sells everything you want but will never have a need for. Par exemple, Bluetooth everything (speakers, keyboards, headphones), "back" massagers (vibrators), luggage, memory foam pillows, HDMI projectors, $3000 massage chairs, and remote control helicopters. It's great if you have lots of money to blow. I myself have bought a number of things... a Bluetooth speaker, screen cleaners, a wine bottle opener, an RC copter, a pen with a fan on the end... Yeah. It's ridiculous. Anyway, I really enjoy it and I love my coworkers. It doesn't pay as much per hour as Riley but during the Christmas season I was working a solid 40-50 hours a week and making bank. So that was nice.
Speaking of Riley, I put my two weeks in a few days ago. My last day is the 15th and as sad as it's going to be to leave my kids, I'm really excited. I've been there for two and a half years now and it's finally lost all of its appeal. I've put up with verbal abuse from 10-year-olds for too long. Being called fat and ugly every day is something I can no longer endure. So I'm quitting to work at Brookstone full-time.
Spring semester went alright. I was fully motivated until the end, when my thoughts were filled with depression and killing myself. I passed but my GPA was no longer in the 3's. I took classes during the summer to bring it back up and although I aced everything and got a 3.8, my GPA stayed at the high end of the 2's. Fall semester started out excellent. I was staying caught up on my reading and studying, passing every quiz and paper thrown my way. Then shit hit the fan and my life took a turn for the worse.
I got pregnant. Two years of sleeping around and hooking up with any guy who gave me the time of day finally caught up with me. My period was ten days late when I found out. It was kind of funny (in a fucked-up kind of way) because we were coming back from a camping trip out on the Great Salt Lake and I kept making pregnancy jokes. I'd had sex in our tent again (second time that summer) and once again didn't use a condom. When I was telling Molly I remember saying something along the lines of "Well, if I'm already pregnant, it's not like I can get knocked up again, right?" One week and 3 pregnancy tests later, I was kicking myself in the ass for making those jokes. I was pregnant. Molly came home to find me sobbing at the kitchen table, not knowing what to do. She and I both agreed that I was too young, poor, and invested in school to go through with a pregnancy. Even having a baby and giving it up for adoption was too much to handle. So I called my mom to break the news to her. Even though she is very much pro-life (she had me in high school just after turning 18), she agreed that an abortion was the way to go. So the next day I attended a counseling session and set up the appointment. September 22. The dreaded day.
If you don't want to read about the pain associated with that day (even though I make it sound like a blast!), skip forward a few paragraphs. If you're down to hear how abortions work, continue on, solider.
Basically there are two types to choose from: surgical and medical. Surgical involves a needle putting your hoohah to sleep so a doctor can take a vacuum and suck the pregnant out of your baby-holdin' parts. It's extremely painful but quick. You're in and out in just a few minutes. Perfect for a lady in a hurry. Medical, on the other hand, is a do-it-yourself procedure. You go in, take a pill at the office, and then you're sent on your way with a packet containing four more pills and two prescriptions for anti-nausea and anti-pain medicine. Also quick but your night will be occupied. So you go about your day – crying, watching netflix, more crying – then comes the time to go to bed. You strap on the fattest maxi-pad you can find, take your meds, and then hang out for 15 minutes. Then comes the fun part. Remember the 4 pills the doctor gave you? You get to shove those – wait for it – into your vagina! Yeah! Way up there! Then you go to sleep and your life is back to normal!
Except not. Two hours later, you're gonna wake up in more pain than your 20-year-old self has ever experienced. So much pain that standing up makes you almost black out. I had to call Molly and have her bring me water and medicine. When she walked into my room she found me curled into a tight ball, crying and moaning in agony. She got the pleasure of laying with me until the meds kicked in and I was so doped up the pain was nothing more than a dull throbbing, making it possible for me to fall asleep again.
Day 2 of your hasty abortion will consist of not much more than changing your bloody diapers and wondering which little blood clot contained the possibility of life. You'll cry. Walking will be unnpleasant. But at least you can make mashed potatoes without throwing up in the process! (True story, the throwing up. I had INTENSE morning sickness whilst pregnant. Mashed potatoes became unbearable to even look at after a morning spent puking them up). Days 3 and 4 will look similar to Day 2, but with less crying. It's over now. You can press play on life again.
That is, until you see your baby-daddy at a party a few months later. It's fine. You're making popcorn and Easy Mac in the kitchen with the guys. Then they leave and it's just the two of you. He's heard that you're dating a girl. He wonders if it's because of him. It's obviously a joke but you start crying anyway. You tell him everything and he doesn't believe you and he's pissed. "Why didn't you tell me?" comes up a lot. Maybe because "I'll text you" was something he didn't follow through on. Maybe because it doesn't involve him? It's wasn't his decision to make? He says things like "we should talk," maybe "get some coffee." He'll text you. (He doesn't text you).
So you're pregnant and depressed and then you're not pregnant anymore but you're still depressed. You stop getting to work on time. You stop participating in class. Literally stop. Don't turn in assignments, don't study for midterms, don't even show up to any of your finals. You fail three out of four classes. You only manage to pass one class because you've had this professor several times now and he listens and understands and let's you have a do-over.
Oh, and guess what. Remember that girl you were dating? She not only plays you like a cute little ginger fiddle, but she also gives you chlamydia. What the FUCK, right? You've just had an abortion, you're a walking failure, and now you've got an STD to top off your shit sundae. Life is grand. What a great year.
Well, now it's 2013. The shit sundae has melted. I'm feeling a lot better about life. I've been really moody the last couple of days because I've had a few different people hop off my friends train, but I'm getting over it. I've discovered Barnes and Noble is like a safe haven for me. If I'm ever feeling shitty I go there and drop a fifty and instantly feel better. I set a goal to read 50 book this year and I'm already 6 books in. That's 12% of my goal omgggG! You can view this goal and my progress on Goodreads, if you're into that. ;)
Anyway. Enough complaining from me. I only updated this now cause I'm procrastinating finishing my anatomy exam.
Farewell, friends.
I saw a ton of great bands, including but not limited to: Anthony Green, Typhoon (twice!), Wiz Khalifa, The Shins, Bon Iver, Nas, Band of Horses, Austra, Iron & Wine, M. Ward, Common, Aloe Blacc, Circa Survive, The Xx, A$AP Rocky, and Freelance Whales. There were a bunch of awesome movies that came out in 2012 but the only ones I remember off the top of my head are Les Mis (which I watched 3 times in two weeks) and The Necessary Death of Charlie Countryman. Sundance was fun but we never met any famous people. I met Ryan Reynolds but that's unrelated to Sundance. I sold him a humidifier, that's all. 8)
In November, just before Thanksgiving, I started working at a company called Brookstone. If you're unfamiliar, it's a place that sells everything you want but will never have a need for. Par exemple, Bluetooth everything (speakers, keyboards, headphones), "back" massagers (vibrators), luggage, memory foam pillows, HDMI projectors, $3000 massage chairs, and remote control helicopters. It's great if you have lots of money to blow. I myself have bought a number of things... a Bluetooth speaker, screen cleaners, a wine bottle opener, an RC copter, a pen with a fan on the end... Yeah. It's ridiculous. Anyway, I really enjoy it and I love my coworkers. It doesn't pay as much per hour as Riley but during the Christmas season I was working a solid 40-50 hours a week and making bank. So that was nice.
Speaking of Riley, I put my two weeks in a few days ago. My last day is the 15th and as sad as it's going to be to leave my kids, I'm really excited. I've been there for two and a half years now and it's finally lost all of its appeal. I've put up with verbal abuse from 10-year-olds for too long. Being called fat and ugly every day is something I can no longer endure. So I'm quitting to work at Brookstone full-time.
Spring semester went alright. I was fully motivated until the end, when my thoughts were filled with depression and killing myself. I passed but my GPA was no longer in the 3's. I took classes during the summer to bring it back up and although I aced everything and got a 3.8, my GPA stayed at the high end of the 2's. Fall semester started out excellent. I was staying caught up on my reading and studying, passing every quiz and paper thrown my way. Then shit hit the fan and my life took a turn for the worse.
I got pregnant. Two years of sleeping around and hooking up with any guy who gave me the time of day finally caught up with me. My period was ten days late when I found out. It was kind of funny (in a fucked-up kind of way) because we were coming back from a camping trip out on the Great Salt Lake and I kept making pregnancy jokes. I'd had sex in our tent again (second time that summer) and once again didn't use a condom. When I was telling Molly I remember saying something along the lines of "Well, if I'm already pregnant, it's not like I can get knocked up again, right?" One week and 3 pregnancy tests later, I was kicking myself in the ass for making those jokes. I was pregnant. Molly came home to find me sobbing at the kitchen table, not knowing what to do. She and I both agreed that I was too young, poor, and invested in school to go through with a pregnancy. Even having a baby and giving it up for adoption was too much to handle. So I called my mom to break the news to her. Even though she is very much pro-life (she had me in high school just after turning 18), she agreed that an abortion was the way to go. So the next day I attended a counseling session and set up the appointment. September 22. The dreaded day.
If you don't want to read about the pain associated with that day (even though I make it sound like a blast!), skip forward a few paragraphs. If you're down to hear how abortions work, continue on, solider.
Basically there are two types to choose from: surgical and medical. Surgical involves a needle putting your hoohah to sleep so a doctor can take a vacuum and suck the pregnant out of your baby-holdin' parts. It's extremely painful but quick. You're in and out in just a few minutes. Perfect for a lady in a hurry. Medical, on the other hand, is a do-it-yourself procedure. You go in, take a pill at the office, and then you're sent on your way with a packet containing four more pills and two prescriptions for anti-nausea and anti-pain medicine. Also quick but your night will be occupied. So you go about your day – crying, watching netflix, more crying – then comes the time to go to bed. You strap on the fattest maxi-pad you can find, take your meds, and then hang out for 15 minutes. Then comes the fun part. Remember the 4 pills the doctor gave you? You get to shove those – wait for it – into your vagina! Yeah! Way up there! Then you go to sleep and your life is back to normal!
Except not. Two hours later, you're gonna wake up in more pain than your 20-year-old self has ever experienced. So much pain that standing up makes you almost black out. I had to call Molly and have her bring me water and medicine. When she walked into my room she found me curled into a tight ball, crying and moaning in agony. She got the pleasure of laying with me until the meds kicked in and I was so doped up the pain was nothing more than a dull throbbing, making it possible for me to fall asleep again.
Day 2 of your hasty abortion will consist of not much more than changing your bloody diapers and wondering which little blood clot contained the possibility of life. You'll cry. Walking will be unnpleasant. But at least you can make mashed potatoes without throwing up in the process! (True story, the throwing up. I had INTENSE morning sickness whilst pregnant. Mashed potatoes became unbearable to even look at after a morning spent puking them up). Days 3 and 4 will look similar to Day 2, but with less crying. It's over now. You can press play on life again.
That is, until you see your baby-daddy at a party a few months later. It's fine. You're making popcorn and Easy Mac in the kitchen with the guys. Then they leave and it's just the two of you. He's heard that you're dating a girl. He wonders if it's because of him. It's obviously a joke but you start crying anyway. You tell him everything and he doesn't believe you and he's pissed. "Why didn't you tell me?" comes up a lot. Maybe because "I'll text you" was something he didn't follow through on. Maybe because it doesn't involve him? It's wasn't his decision to make? He says things like "we should talk," maybe "get some coffee." He'll text you. (He doesn't text you).
So you're pregnant and depressed and then you're not pregnant anymore but you're still depressed. You stop getting to work on time. You stop participating in class. Literally stop. Don't turn in assignments, don't study for midterms, don't even show up to any of your finals. You fail three out of four classes. You only manage to pass one class because you've had this professor several times now and he listens and understands and let's you have a do-over.
Oh, and guess what. Remember that girl you were dating? She not only plays you like a cute little ginger fiddle, but she also gives you chlamydia. What the FUCK, right? You've just had an abortion, you're a walking failure, and now you've got an STD to top off your shit sundae. Life is grand. What a great year.
Well, now it's 2013. The shit sundae has melted. I'm feeling a lot better about life. I've been really moody the last couple of days because I've had a few different people hop off my friends train, but I'm getting over it. I've discovered Barnes and Noble is like a safe haven for me. If I'm ever feeling shitty I go there and drop a fifty and instantly feel better. I set a goal to read 50 book this year and I'm already 6 books in. That's 12% of my goal omgggG! You can view this goal and my progress on Goodreads, if you're into that. ;)
Anyway. Enough complaining from me. I only updated this now cause I'm procrastinating finishing my anatomy exam.
Farewell, friends.
Monday, August 27, 2012
it's been a while
My life, since the last time we spoke:
- I moved into a new house and it's awesome and I love it and I'm happy.
- I've made a lot of new friends.
- I've discovered that a lot of people don't like me.*
- I got my nose pierced. I was blackout and have no recollection but hey, that's what happens when you're living a life fueled by alcoholism.
- I booked a trip to Missouri for 10 days in November. I'm stoked. It might get me fired.
- For three weeks prior to the start of school, I was blackout drunk every single day. Starting school (plus a number of other things) made me realize that I might have a problem.
- I got a new car. If we're friends you already know this. If not, IT'S AWESOME.
- I haven't been sleeping very well. Here, look at the bags under my eyes:
ok bai
p.s.: if you missed my face, you can always view it here. YEAH I STILL USE DAILYBOOTH, sorry if you think i'm conceited idccccc
*People always dislike me (how can they not, I'm a giant asshole), but these people have absolutely no reason to not like me. They simply say that they hate me, with nothing to base it off of. It's chill, whateva.
- I moved into a new house and it's awesome and I love it and I'm happy.
- I've made a lot of new friends.
- I've discovered that a lot of people don't like me.*
- I got my nose pierced. I was blackout and have no recollection but hey, that's what happens when you're living a life fueled by alcoholism.
- I booked a trip to Missouri for 10 days in November. I'm stoked. It might get me fired.
- For three weeks prior to the start of school, I was blackout drunk every single day. Starting school (plus a number of other things) made me realize that I might have a problem.
- I got a new car. If we're friends you already know this. If not, IT'S AWESOME.
- I haven't been sleeping very well. Here, look at the bags under my eyes:
p.s.: if you missed my face, you can always view it here. YEAH I STILL USE DAILYBOOTH, sorry if you think i'm conceited idccccc
*People always dislike me (how can they not, I'm a giant asshole), but these people have absolutely no reason to not like me. They simply say that they hate me, with nothing to base it off of. It's chill, whateva.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
because I FUCKING can
Labels:
I should be sleeping,
Questionnaire
1 comments
1:Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
Open. I would close them cause they look nicer that way, but they're impossible to open back up.
2:Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
Sometimes, depending on what brand it is.
3:Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
Tucked in!
4:Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
Absolutely I have. I'm a delinquent.
5:Do you like to use post-it notes?
Like is an understatement.
6:Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
No. I don't use coupons.
7:Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
A bear.
8:Do you have freckles?
Oceans.
9:Do you always smile for pictures?
Usually. My face looks unappealing when in poker mode.
10:What is your biggest pet peeve?
I have two bathroom related pet peeves: when someone doesn't change the toilet paper roll when it's empty and when someone steps onto the bathmat without drying their feet off first.
11:Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
No.
14:Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing?
Occasionally.
15:Do you chew your pens and pencils?
No, sir.
16:How many people have you slept with this week?
This week? 0.
17:What size is your bed?
Queen.
18:What is your Song of the week?
Re:Stacks by Bon Iver. I don't know why, I've just needed to hear it.
19:Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
I don't see why not.
20:Do you still watch cartoons?
Duh, of course I do. I'm about to finish the last season of Avatar: The Last Airbender and I'm really sad.
21:Whats your least favorite movie?
Human Centipede Sequence 2.
22:Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
It wouldn't be hidden if I told, would it?
23:What do you drink with dinner?
Tonight I had white wine, yesterday I had water. It depends on what's available.
24:What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
I don't eat chicken nuggets.
25:What is your favorite food?
Garlic-herb chicken con broccoli.
26:What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
Baby Mama, Juno, Pride and Prejudice, and basically any Johnny Depp movie ever.
28:Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
Yep!
29:Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
If I had the body. Currently, no.
30:When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
I write letters and notes to Molly all the time.
31:Can you change the oil on a car?
Not by myself.
32:Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
A couple.
33:Ever ran out of gas?
Twice. Once on the way to high school and the other time on the way to Chili's.
34:Favorite kind of sandwich?
Anything with bacon and wheat bread from Subway.
35:Best thing to eat for breakfast?
Two petite vanilla bean scones and a venti soy chai from Starbucks.
36:What is your usual bedtime?
Any time between 11pm and 4am unless I have to work in the morning, in which case I usually pass out around 8 or 9pm.
37:Are you lazy?
I wouldn't say I'm lazy, but I'm very prone to procrastination.
38:When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?
Cats, rabbits, ghosts, Pikachu.
39:What is your Chinese astrological sign?
Monkey.
40:How many languages can you speak?
English fluently, French okay-ish, Spanish poorly.
41:Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
I used to get Cosmo when I lived in Missouri, not anymore though.
42:Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
Legos.
43:Are you stubborn?
Very.
44:Who is better...Leno or Letterman?
Letterman.
45:Ever watch soap operas?
Only if my grandma won't let me change the channel when I'm at her house.
46:Are you afraid of heights?
Nope.
47:Do you sing in the car?
Loudly.
48:Do you sing in the shower?
Not usually.
49:Do you dance in the car?
All the time.
50:Ever used a gun?
Nope, nor do I want to.
51:Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
Senior year of high school?
52:Do you think musicals are cheesy?
No way, I love them.
53:Is Christmas stressful?
More like unpleasant. I don't like being at family gatherings.
54:Ever eat a pierogi?
No, ma'am.
55:Favorite type of fruit pie?
Strawberry.
56:Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
A veterinarian.
57:Do you believe in ghosts?
No.
58:Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
A few times.
59:Take a vitamin daily?
Nooope.
60:Wear slippers?
No.
61:Wear a bath robe?
No...
62:What do you wear to bed?
Normally a tank top or giant shirt and boxer shorts.
63:First concert?
2005 Vans Warped Tour. I watched My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, Hawthorne Heights, and The All-American Rejects.
64:Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
Target.
65:Nike or Adidas?
Nike.
66:Cheetos Or Fritos?
Cheetos.
67:Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
Sunflower seeds.
68:Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?
Nope.
69:Ever take dance lessons?
Definitely not.
70:Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
Uhhhh, no...
71:Can you curl your tongue?
Hell yeah.
72:Ever won a spelling bee?
Yep! A couple different ones.
73:Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
Absolutely.
74:Own any record albums?
Three.
75:Own a record player?
At my parent's.
76:Regularly burn incense?
Never.
77:Ever been in love?
Once.
78:Who would you like to see in concert?
Fleet Foxes.
79:What was the last concert you saw?
The Shins and Bon Iver. They were on May 28th and 29th, so I consider it a two-day festival for myself.
80:Hot tea or cold tea?
I love both.
81:Tea or coffee?
Tea... but I love coffee, too.
82:Sugar or snickerdoodles?
...I don't understand the question. Cookies? Sugar, I guess. I don't know what a snickerdoodle is.
83:Can you swim well?
Not at all. I can barely keep myself afloat.
84:Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
Yes.
85:Are you patient?
When I have to be.
86:DJ or band, at a wedding?
I honestly don't know.
87:Ever won a contest?
I've won a raffle before, if that counts.
88:Ever have plastic surgery?
Nope.
89:Which are better black or green olives?
They're both disgusting.
90:Can you knit or crochet?
Nooope.
91:Best room for a fireplace?
Living room?
92:Do you want to get married?
I don't know yet. Not really.
93:If married, how long have you been married?
~~~ (where is question 94?!?!!)
95:Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
Absolutely not.
96:Do you have kids?
No.
97:Do you want kids?
Eventually, maybe. Only if its a girl though.
98:Whats your favorite color?
Purple.
99:Do you miss anyone right now?
Scott, Christian, Rose... my Missouri babes.
Open. I would close them cause they look nicer that way, but they're impossible to open back up.
2:Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
Sometimes, depending on what brand it is.
3:Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
Tucked in!
4:Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
Absolutely I have. I'm a delinquent.
5:Do you like to use post-it notes?
Like is an understatement.
6:Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
No. I don't use coupons.
7:Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
A bear.
8:Do you have freckles?
Oceans.
Usually. My face looks unappealing when in poker mode.
10:What is your biggest pet peeve?
I have two bathroom related pet peeves: when someone doesn't change the toilet paper roll when it's empty and when someone steps onto the bathmat without drying their feet off first.
11:Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
No.
14:Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing?
Occasionally.
15:Do you chew your pens and pencils?
No, sir.
16:How many people have you slept with this week?
This week? 0.
17:What size is your bed?
Queen.
18:What is your Song of the week?
Re:Stacks by Bon Iver. I don't know why, I've just needed to hear it.
19:Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
I don't see why not.
20:Do you still watch cartoons?
Duh, of course I do. I'm about to finish the last season of Avatar: The Last Airbender and I'm really sad.
21:Whats your least favorite movie?
Human Centipede Sequence 2.
22:Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
It wouldn't be hidden if I told, would it?
23:What do you drink with dinner?
Tonight I had white wine, yesterday I had water. It depends on what's available.
24:What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
I don't eat chicken nuggets.
25:What is your favorite food?
Garlic-herb chicken con broccoli.
26:What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
Baby Mama, Juno, Pride and Prejudice, and basically any Johnny Depp movie ever.
28:Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
Yep!
29:Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
If I had the body. Currently, no.
30:When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
I write letters and notes to Molly all the time.
31:Can you change the oil on a car?
Not by myself.
32:Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
A couple.
33:Ever ran out of gas?
Twice. Once on the way to high school and the other time on the way to Chili's.
34:Favorite kind of sandwich?
Anything with bacon and wheat bread from Subway.
35:Best thing to eat for breakfast?
Two petite vanilla bean scones and a venti soy chai from Starbucks.
36:What is your usual bedtime?
Any time between 11pm and 4am unless I have to work in the morning, in which case I usually pass out around 8 or 9pm.
37:Are you lazy?
I wouldn't say I'm lazy, but I'm very prone to procrastination.
38:When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?
Cats, rabbits, ghosts, Pikachu.
39:What is your Chinese astrological sign?
Monkey.
40:How many languages can you speak?
English fluently, French okay-ish, Spanish poorly.
41:Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
I used to get Cosmo when I lived in Missouri, not anymore though.
42:Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
Legos.
43:Are you stubborn?
Very.
44:Who is better...Leno or Letterman?
Letterman.
45:Ever watch soap operas?
Only if my grandma won't let me change the channel when I'm at her house.
46:Are you afraid of heights?
Nope.
47:Do you sing in the car?
Loudly.
48:Do you sing in the shower?
Not usually.
49:Do you dance in the car?
All the time.
50:Ever used a gun?
Nope, nor do I want to.
51:Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
Senior year of high school?
52:Do you think musicals are cheesy?
No way, I love them.
53:Is Christmas stressful?
More like unpleasant. I don't like being at family gatherings.
54:Ever eat a pierogi?
No, ma'am.
55:Favorite type of fruit pie?
Strawberry.
56:Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
A veterinarian.
57:Do you believe in ghosts?
No.
58:Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
A few times.
59:Take a vitamin daily?
Nooope.
60:Wear slippers?
No.
61:Wear a bath robe?
No...
62:What do you wear to bed?
Normally a tank top or giant shirt and boxer shorts.
63:First concert?
2005 Vans Warped Tour. I watched My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, Hawthorne Heights, and The All-American Rejects.
64:Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
Target.
65:Nike or Adidas?
Nike.
66:Cheetos Or Fritos?
Cheetos.
67:Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
Sunflower seeds.
68:Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?
Nope.
69:Ever take dance lessons?
Definitely not.
70:Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
Uhhhh, no...
71:Can you curl your tongue?
Hell yeah.
72:Ever won a spelling bee?
Yep! A couple different ones.
73:Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
Absolutely.
74:Own any record albums?
Three.
75:Own a record player?
At my parent's.
76:Regularly burn incense?
Never.
77:Ever been in love?
Once.
78:Who would you like to see in concert?
Fleet Foxes.
79:What was the last concert you saw?
The Shins and Bon Iver. They were on May 28th and 29th, so I consider it a two-day festival for myself.
80:Hot tea or cold tea?
I love both.
81:Tea or coffee?
Tea... but I love coffee, too.
82:Sugar or snickerdoodles?
...I don't understand the question. Cookies? Sugar, I guess. I don't know what a snickerdoodle is.
83:Can you swim well?
Not at all. I can barely keep myself afloat.
84:Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
Yes.
85:Are you patient?
When I have to be.
86:DJ or band, at a wedding?
I honestly don't know.
87:Ever won a contest?
I've won a raffle before, if that counts.
88:Ever have plastic surgery?
Nope.
89:Which are better black or green olives?
They're both disgusting.
90:Can you knit or crochet?
Nooope.
91:Best room for a fireplace?
Living room?
92:Do you want to get married?
I don't know yet. Not really.
93:If married, how long have you been married?
~~~ (where is question 94?!?!!)
95:Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
Absolutely not.
96:Do you have kids?
No.
97:Do you want kids?
Eventually, maybe. Only if its a girl though.
98:Whats your favorite color?
Purple.
99:Do you miss anyone right now?
Scott, Christian, Rose... my Missouri babes.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
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