honesty is always the best policy... except for when it isn't.

I'm a firm believer in being honest with those you love. As much as I enjoy lying for the sake of being funny, I really would prefer not to lie to my friends. If you have a bat in the cave or something lodged in between your teeth, I'll let you know. If your ass looks fat in dem jeans, I'll let you know. I'll also clue you in if the party you're hosting absolutely sucks.

On Friday night, I drove up to Ogden for a party that Amy was throwing. Amy doesn't allow underage drinking in her house but I thought, "eh not a big deal, I'll just get wasted tomorrow night at Mark's party." So Saturday rolls around and everyone starts canceling... Gentry, Megan, Amy and Casey, Chelsi and Michael... But I just spent a shit load of money perfecting my Rugrats' Angelica costume so I'm not going to turn back now. It's nearly 10 when I pull up to Colby and Mark's, but when I walk in... Colby's alone and watching a documentary on RUSH. The party was supposed to have started at 8. So I'm like, "okay, this fucking sucks," and plant myself on the couch next to him. Eventually a nice little crowd of people showed up - Jared, Josh, Skipper, Kelby, Nick, Chelsi, Michael - and the party started. Things were good for a while but then I think people got bored of dancing to shitty 90's music, so what do the hosts do? Pull out the acoustic guitar. Colby, Mark and Skipper arranged themselves around the dining table and started singing.... which is when the rest of the party moved outside to smoke.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love a good acoustic sing-along now and then. But at a 90s pop culture themed dance party? I don't think its appropriate. It also doesn't help when the singers think it wise to harmonize but don't do it properly... Anyway. The people on the porch had become thoroughly bored, annoyed, and hungry so we did what any bored, annoyed, hungry mob would do: we left. Here's where that first paragraph about honesty starts to tie in.

Everyone decided it would be best to just bail without saying goodbye. The Harris brothers and Colby were so wrapped up in their music making that they wouldn't even notice. But when I walked back inside to grab my bag, Mark asked me if I was leaving. And I lied. "No, we're just going to grab some food." As I was walking back outside, I felt like absolute shit. I knew this was the wrong thing to do. These are our friends who graciously invited us over and let us have a drunk dance party in their living room, and we're leaving without saying goodbye like a big sack of dicks.

We ended up going over to Jared's apartment to eat and resume partying. I still felt really shitty and that feeling only increased when Mark started texting me. Things started off okay. He asked if we had good food timez and I replied that Michael made us special ramen at Jared's, so yes. Then he said "Sorry that our party sucked" and I couldn't think of a good way to respond without lying. Chelsi wanted me to not respond or say we were waiting on our check to leave a food place... but I couldn't do that since he knew we were at Jared's. So I decided to be honest.

Everything I replied from "Guess so!" down was written in a joking manner. Or at least that's how I imagined it when I was writing it. If Mark and I had been face-to-face and I'd said "Guess so!" it would have been with a smirk and a shrug. Then I didn't want to reply to his sad emoticon with another sad emoticon, so I thought it would be cute/funny to make a sad mustached man. Oh boy, was I wrong. He said, "So this is a joke to you then. Cool." and I replied something along the lines of "Hey, I'm only trying to not make you want to kill yourself." ....also said in a joking manner in my head. Once again my humor was not noticed and he got offended and said, "Wow alright, and I thought we were becoming friends." I was tired and done talking to him, so like your average pussy I apologized and bailed...

Looks like I won't be responding to drunk texts while I'm sober anymore.