freak out

We're leaving on Monday for Utah. I have orientation on Wednesday. I move to Utah in one month, one week, and four days. I'm starting to freak out.

I feel extremely underprepared. I'm not ready. I'm broke, I have no idea where I'm supposed to get student loans from, and I still don't have any financial aid through the college. I don't have a job set up through work-study or any place in town. I'm afraid that I won't be able to find a way to get income. That means I won't be able to pay my phone bill or my next car insurance payment in January. Shit, I won't even be able to drive my car around if I don't have money for gas. 

A lot of people would probably say "Well Sam, if you weren't traveling halfway across the country to go to a college where the cost for a year is more than a new 2010 Buick Lacrosse, you wouldn't have this problem." Fuck you. I feel like this is something I have to do. I need to get out of Missouri. Money is the only thing I'm concerned about. I don't care that I'm moving somewhere where I have no friends or that my roommates could completely hate me. I don't care. I've lived without friends in Trenton, I think I can do it in Salt Lake City too. 

Blah. I dono. I'm just starting to freaaakkk. I'm going to try to get more hours at work after I get back from SLC next week so I can buy the rest of the things I need for my room and have some money in the bank for whatever else I need when I get there. I think all that's left to buy is a printer, but I don't even know if I need one of those. Surely I can find a printer on campus somewhere when I need one, right? Oh and a backpack. I don't have one of those.

I bought the rest of my bedding tonight and some bathroom stuff - shampoo, conditioner, scope, body wash that smells amaaaazing. My half of the room is going to look so nice. 

I have found a new show to love on in LOST's absence: Grey's Anatomy. I spend every day from 12-3 watching it and it's such a good show! On one of today's episodes, Meredith's step-mother died and I cried even though I didn't like that character. OOH, speaking of crying! Yesterday when mom and I were watching TV, my grandma said that she'd like to go visit my uncle and aunt in the city. My grandma is in love with their daughter, Madison. My mom and I aren't big fans. Our nickname for her  is "the troll" because she was so ugly and not human looking at all when she was born. Anyway, my mom started joking that my grandma likes the troll more than Nick, then started up on how my grandma also liked Jacob (my cousin) more than me when we were little. I had planned on only fake crying to make everyone feel bad (because I'm definitely the favorite) but I started bawling and couldn't stop! Oh god, it was so embarrassing. Then later, my mom was joking about something else and made my grandma choke and spit tea everywhere. God, my family is ridiculous. 

Well, I'm about to go to the city with my family to visit the troll. I'll try to have something interesting to post tonight when I get home. 

Well said, Rose. Well said.

Someone (whose name will not be mentioned) really made me angry this morning. Apparently irl all I offer is "small talk." I was only in Kentucky around said person for a day and a few hours. Sorry that in that time I didn't try to discuss the theories for 2012 or my thoughts on religion or life. What annoys me the most is that he didn't attempt to get into any large discussions. I didn't realize what we talked about would be categorized as "small talk." I thought our conversations were fine. Whatever. I'm not mad anymore. I'm still a bit offended though. Darren Criss will demonstrate how I feel:

lol.

oh yeah..

I forgot to mention anything about the fourth of July. I've never been a fan of the holiday. People seem to have forgotten that it's a day to celebrate our independence from Britain and instead see it as a day to compete against their neighbors for biggest fireworks display. I mean, it brings together families but I think it's a big waste of money. You spend all kinds of money on food, fireworks, and sometimes decorations, and I think it sucks.

Well, my mom always like to shoot off bottle rockets (which are illegal in town) and I enjoy writing on the roads with smoke bombs. As you can tell below, I'm pretty awesome. ;)

Anyway, my mom had me cracking up so much. We live across the street from a park and it was loaded with kids yesterday, including my brother. So my mom was shooting bottle rockets from our yard at the park with hopes of hitting Jonathan. It seemed like she could only hit the other kids though. Bahahaha, they'd start screaming "SHE HIT ME, SHE HIT ME!" and my brother would dart out from his hiding spot and go near another kid and try to get them hit. It was hilarious, trust me. My mom is one of the funniest people I know. After she hit one kid, she turned around laughing and said "Classic." xD

Hope you all enjoyed your holiday. :) 

:(

Why does everything have to be so friggen expensive? I've told you guys that I want to buy a new camera, iPod, iPhone, and Flip camera. The camera with a memory card is $200, iPod is around $250, iPhone is $300, and a Flip is $280. I'm not backing off of getting an iPhone 4; I'm getting that next month for sure. If I have that, I won't need a Flip cause it takes HD video and it's just as easy to carry around. Plus, I have my Vixia that's been neglected ever since I bought it. I have 3 iPods and even though one is corrupted like crazy, I can deal. I don't need another Classic. But I feel like I really should have a new camera. So that's $500 that I need to scratch together. With the paycheck I'm getting on Friday, I would have enough money to buy both items. There's a problem though.

On July 11th, my car insurance is due. It's $360-ish for the last six months plus whatever they're going to charge me for the last month that I've had my new car. On the first sheet that my grandma got from the insurance company, it states that I should only have to pay a little over thirty dollars for the last month. But on the paper she just got, it says $280. I think I have $250 in my checking account right now. How in the hell am I supposed to come up with almost $400 before the 11th? There's no way. I'm so frustrated. If I hadn't gone to Kentucky - or if gas wasn't so much - I would be able to pay all of that with no problem. I just didn't want to pass up an opportunity to meet one of my best online friends. Gah, #fml.

Oh, I also wanted a GPS before I move to Utah in a month so I don't get lost on the way there. Hah. That's another $300. Looks like I'll be reading paper instructions or hoping my iPhone can get me there in one piece.